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The Black Carriage Chp. 1 by ~KimikoToudaiji:iconKimikoToudaiji:





The mystery of the Black Carriage

A woman walked along the way. But suddenly a carriage appeared and ran her down.
It was the 23th of May 1805.

FIRST CHAPTER
1847
The sun tickled my nose. I opened my eyes and my butler James stood in front of my bed holding a silver tablet. „Good morning, young Master. It’s eight o‘clock and I brought you your tea, just how you wished it. “, said James. „Thank you, James.“, I said half sleeping. „I also prepared your clothing, young Master. “, he added. He put the tablet on the small table next to the window and left. I rose up and put on the clothings, which were prepared by James or one of my servants.
Down in the hall I took a seat at the huge table, which was covered with many delicacies. I barely ate a bite, when Rose arrived. Rose and was quite old was working for my family for so many years. When I was a little boy, she always told me tales when I was lying in bed. One of them I always found so nice, that I wanted to hear it every night and I knew it inside out. It was the story of the ‚Black Carriage‘. How much I adored this tale. „Good morning, Joseph.“, she greeted me with a clear voice. „Oh Rose, I hope honestly, you’re not laboring too much. You’re going to die of too much strain. So many years are you serving my family…“ „…and I’m going to work for you until the day, where I fall asleep, but not awake in the morning.  “, she said. I smiled. Then I heard a cab arriving outside. „A visit so early in the morning? “, I asked Rose. She shrugged her shoulders. Someone knocked on the door and James opened. „Good morning, I wish to speak to the young Master. “, demanded the person. I rose up and went towards the door. „The young Master…“ „…is already here. What do you want from me this early? “, I asked. „Let me introduce myself.“. His name was Christian Bredfod, who introduced himself as a member of the 'Rosary Order'. "The Rosary Order?" "Yes, the Rosary Order investigates mysterious incidents. “   „Oh well, and what have I to do with it? I haven’t harmed anybody. “, I said. Mr. Bredford smiled. „Just come with me. I will tell you everything about us on the way and I’ll explain you, why we have chosen you to help us. “James and Rose looked worried at me. „Oh young master, please don’t go away. It could be a trap. “, whined Rose. „It’s alright Rose. “ , I said. Mr. Bredford looked at me with a glance like ice. His eyes were greenish blue gray. They fitted him perfectly. „Well, I will follow you! “, I decided. „Very well.“, added Mr. Bredford and went back to the cab. „Rose, would you and James please pack my suitcase? “, I demanded. „ Yes, Sir.“
©2008-2009 ~KimikoToudaiji
:iconkimikotoudaiji:

Author's Comments

Well, to make one thing clear: I'm not the author of this story. The original writer is my friend Dilara W. and this is aproject of both of us. She's writing the story, I'm her Beta reader and I translated it into English. She really wanted to have her story uploaded here, but she don't like register. But I have explicit permission to upload this in her name. If you want to give feedback, I will relay it to her.

These are small chapters I'm uploading, so you don't ave to read to much at once and you don't get bored ;-)

I don't think there is a problem uploading this, because I have my friends permission. If there should be problems and you want to contact my friend, sent me a note.

Story by: Dilara Wappler
Translation and Illustration by: me

Enjoy!

Comments


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:iconbehind-my-lens:
That was pretty good tell her its a good start =D

thanks for the translation too, haven't had the time to learn Deutsch yet ^_^

--
"Mr Rogers fucked up an entire generation." SSGT , August 7th
:iconkimikotoudaiji:
thank you, I will tell her :)
I think the story has more effect written in English. Well, in German formalities, but I couldn't imagine the characters talking in German xD

But If there should be any mistake in translation (no matter how small it is) it would be nice if you could tell me :)

--
♠ ♠Become Joker's henchman/henchwoman, join the club: [link]

Wanna read a victorian mystery? [link]
:iconbehind-my-lens:
hehe I've heard that there somethings don't always flow very well from one language to the next, like a german foregin exchange student who watched a Shakespeare play in my english class and was all "oh now i get it" cause the flow changed with translation into german so it didn't all make sense lol

yah i did notice a few mistakes but didn't wanna sound "nit picky"

"What do you want from me that early?"
idk if that's correct, i think it whould be "this early" cause he's speaking about the present, "that early" sounds like he's talking about something in the past

"Es It could be a trap." lol 'Yes it could be a trap.'

actually you did an excellend job with the translation ^_^

--
"Mr Rogers fucked up an entire generation." SSGT , August 7th
:iconkimikotoudaiji:
Oh, thank you for correcting me, I'll change it. I actually fought that 'that early' didn't sound right. So thx, it helps me to improve my English :)

--
♠ ♠Become Joker's henchman/henchwoman, join the club: [link]

Wanna read a victorian mystery? [link]
:iconbehind-my-lens:
wow lol don't take everything i say as the absolute truth, i'm just saying it "that" sounded funny to me lol, english is my first (and for right now only) language but i'm not the best lol ^_^

and your welcome just tryin to help ^_^

hehe u can help me improve my german, although i have to at least learn some first lol

--
"Mr Rogers fucked up an entire generation." SSGT , August 7th
:iconkimikotoudaiji:
hehe, but I can trust a native english speaker when something sounds strange to him xDDD But I'm not better than you: polish is my first language and I can barely speak a word (although I raised with this language) xDDD

I don't think that german is hard to learn, all the polish people I know got it quite fast xDDDD But If you have a question, don't hesitate do ask :)

--
♠ ♠Become Joker's henchman/henchwoman, join the club: [link]

Wanna read a victorian mystery? [link]
:iconbehind-my-lens:
lol nice so u've got some polish, german and english lol

"i can only speak two languages, good english and bad english" lol i love that quote

lol the foreign exchange studdents often had better grammar than the kids in my high school, cause they actually paid attention when they were learning it lolz

^_^ well once i learn it i'll be sure to go to u for help, lol but that won't be any time soon, i still want to learn chinese first

--
"Mr Rogers fucked up an entire generation." SSGT , August 7th
:iconkimikotoudaiji:
hehe, that quote's to genious!

Grammar, blaaaah. I don't like no matter which language, it's to complicated for my brain. Especially in german. So an advice for you: when you want to learn it, do it before they change the spelling reform again!

Chinese, great idea! I hope that at least you make progress (some of my class mates are learning it for a year, but the only thing they can say is still 'Ni hao' xDDD)

--
♠ ♠Become Joker's henchman/henchwoman, join the club: [link]

Wanna read a victorian mystery? [link]
:iconbehind-my-lens:
lol its from Bruce Willis in the "The Fifth Element" i love that movie ^_^

lol change the spelling reform

i hated trying to learn spanish, it kicked my ass lol

lol what's Ni hao mean?

i plan on taking more college courses once i enter the service, and i think that learning chinese could quite beneficial in today's age

--
"Mr Rogers fucked up an entire generation." SSGT , August 7th

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